There are no words to describe the day of August 14, 2014. It was truly a life-changing experience. I got to witness Julie and Tommy Willumson welcome precious Charlotte Piper into the world. But this was no ordinary birthing experience. This would be the very first time I'd get to see a completely natural, at-home birth. You read that correctly! At. Home. If your first thought is.....Say Whaaaaaa??? Don't worry, that was mine too. Until I met Julie Willumson.
And it goes a little something like this...
Julie and I met through our Mary Kay businesses about 4 years ago. She lived in Michigan and I lived in Tennessee- but we got to spend time together each year in Dallas at our Mary Kay Seminar. We instantly hit it off. Over the years we kept up with each other through Facebook and MK friends- but it wasn't until she and her family moved back to Chattanooga that we really became soul sisters. It doesn't hurt that our husbands are very similar and have a major bromance going on too! (They're gonna love me for that one!)
So where does this home birth fit in?
I knew that Julie had done a home birth with her first baby girl Malia. But it wasn't until one of our late night conversations at an out of town MK event that I really knew anything about it. Julie shared her home birth story with us and showed us pictures of the experience. I was completely 100% intrigued. I love a good back story- and I love things that are unique, stand out, and go against the grain of what society tells us is the "way things are done." That's not really a reason to base how your child comes into the world- but it did make me very curious about the process.
When Julie found out she was expecting baby #2- we were all thrilled! And I immediately started bullying her into letting me be her doula (someone there during the birthing process to help serve the mom and make her more comfortable). Bullying may be a little dramatic- but I definitely let her know that I would love to be a part of it. I'm very subtle. :) So about midway- I got the sweetest text from Julie asking me if I would like to be beside her on the day as her doula. We were at the beach with my parents when I got the text and I immediately started jumping up and down because I was so honored and excited!
Sidebar: My sweet Southern belle mama was hilarious when I told my family the news. She of course started by making sure I knew I needed to do everything I could to be helpful- but then she ended her wisdom by saying, "And now Whitney, I need you to memorize theeese threeee nummmberrssss: NINE. ONE. ONE!" Hilarious. Good one mama!
Then the preparations started. Julie asked me to do any reading I could and maybe to watch some videos just to prepare me for the experience. The more I read about it, and the more research I did- the more excited and intrigued I got. Every woman and pregnancy is different- but these stories were incredible and beautiful. They were SO different from what you see on television and the horror stories you hear from friends. One particularly helpful video is a documentary called, "The Business of Being Born." Julie was very clear in her views that an at home birth is not for everyone- and I believe that too- but this documentary allows you to open your minds to thoughts you've never thought before. Or at least it did for me. The other important thing to add is that as several mothers read this experience that I write (obviously someone who has not had a birth experience), please know it's not meant to pass judgement or rain on the parade of anyone else who has had a different story. There is no perfect way to do it-- and no way is right or wrong. This was just completely new to me, and something that completely changed the way I think about birth.
I was ready. And SO excited!
Then we got down to the last few weeks/days of the pregnancy. Julie was extremely uncomfortable. And overdue. It was HOT. She had a LOT of false labor and early contractions. And the feeling of everyone being on call 24/7 for about three weeks was weighing heavy. Spirits remained high- but you knew everybody was ready for that baby to get here. Obviously Julie more than anyone. I tried my best to do whatever I could to take any stress away. Cleaning, dishes, laundry, playing with Malia, cooking (HA! I did my best!), comedic relief, mall walking buddy, and always bearing gifts! I mean- isn't that what a doula is for?!
The last hurdle we had to get over was a day trip to Nashville for a MK event I had scheduled and could not miss. I would be gone all day. I kept my phone on and beside me the whole time just in case I needed to leave early for the 2.5 hour trip home. Luckily everything remained calm and I got home about 9:00 that night with no labor in sight.
Well, that is, until my phone rang at around 2:30AM. I picked up the phone with my sleepy "heelllo?" and was met with an excited high pitched Julie saying... "It'ssssssss TIME!" So exciting! I grabbed my doula bag I had packed by the door with an extra set of clothes and some snacks (yall! I was prepared!) and headed to the Willumson house!
When I got there- Julie was sitting calmly in her living with it dimly lit, diffusing her Clary Sage (natural essential oil that helps speed up labor) in her humidifier, with her phone opened to the app to time her contractions. Tommy and Malia were still asleep and so I cranked up my "Spa Station" on Pandora and then just made myself busy with tidying up or chatting in between her contractions. Her contractions weren't super intense yet- but they were getting pretty consistent. So at about 4AM, we decided to give the midwife a call. She said she would get loaded and head on over in about an hour. It was during this time that Julie kind of gave me instructions on how she wanted me to assist her during contractions. She would lean over the arm of the couch and I would massage her lower back with the Clary Sage to help relieve some pressure. This went on for about the next two hours. Chatting, contraction, dishes, contraction, chatting, contraction, eat a protein bar, contraction, etc.
About 6:30AM the first midwife, Michelle Ray, arrived. Tommy and I helped her unload her things and then she started filling out paperwork and timing Julie's contractions. For about the next two hours- we sat and chatted and I really got to know Michelle. She was awesome! You could tell that she loved what she did and was extremely knowledgeable about her profession. She made me feel instantly comfortable in her space and I was assured Julie was in great hands. I continued to massage Julie with every contraction as they continued to get more intense and more frequent. About that time- Malia woke up and got to spend a few minutes with Julie before she left for Tommy's mom's house. It was really sweet to see that mommy/daughter bonding for the last time before they were a family of four. Julie had also tried to lay down and get some rest in between contractions but every time she did the contractions would slow down. So after Malia left, and when Michelle's friend Debbie (the second midwife) arrived- we decided to take a few laps up and down Julie's long, hilly driveway to speed the process up. After a couple of laps- you could definitely tell the contractions were starting to come consistently and more intense again.
After our walk- Julie casually strolled around her house as she labored and we decided it was time to move into her bedroom. Julie prefers to labor at night, but since we were moving in to brightest part of the day- I gathered towels and sheets and covered all the windows in her bedroom- turned all the lights off and kept my Spa Station rolling. It was a very serene and peaceful setting. Her water had not broken yet, but it was right after we moved into the bedroom that she had her "bloody show" and things definitely started getting more intense. Michelle checked her and "ruffled her feathers" a little bit to speed things up and she was at about a 6 cm dilated. With each contraction she would lay over the side of the bed and sway as I would do the massaging thing- but this time it was with a heating pad and with just pressure along her lower back. After each contraction she would sit up, sip some water, and breathe slowly. We also decided to try the shower for awhile. As contractions were starting to speed up significantly and be more intense-- Julie got in the shower and let the heat and stream of water give her some relief for about 30 mins. In the meantime, Tommy, Debbie, and Michelle got the birthing pool set up in the bedroom and got all of the preparations and supplies ready for when the baby came. Michelle was also consistently checking the baby's heart rate with the exact same heart rate monitor as they use in the hospital. Pretty cool. After she got out of the shower-- Julie did spend some time in the birthing pool but it was hard for her to get into a good position that felt comfortable and she ended up getting too hot which wasn't great for either heart rate. So we started over with the leaning over the bed laboring process.
After a few hours of this- you could tell that she was starting to wear down. At one point she climbed up in the bed and actually fell asleep for about 10 mins. When Michelle came in and saw her asleep- she knew she was gonna have to speed this up a little more. We needed contractions to come a lot faster to get that baby out anytime soon. She put some kind of special herb under her tongue and then pulled out the breast pump. The herb helps induce and speed up labor and the breast stimulation does the same. This is when IT got real, people! Contractions started coming so fast that Julie had no break in between. As soon as she would get that breast pump back on- it wouldn't be 10 seconds before the next contraction would hit. It also started feeling more comfortable for Julie to squat and sway her hips back and forth in each contraction. So she would hold onto the bed, squat down, I would squat behind holding the heating pad in her lower back with my knee, and massaging her hips and thighs with my hands. I just thought I was a rockstar for being a Body Pump instructor and teaching all those squats --- but let me just tell you that Body Pump has NOTHING on doing squats with Julie in labor! :) After about two hours of this- Julie was so exhausted that she couldn't even lift herself back up when the contraction was over. By this point- I'm pretty tired myself after being at this for over 12 hours- but I just kept reminding myself that it was nowhere near what Julie was feeling. So every time I had the thought that I was tired, or hungry- I would pray over Julie. She was blowing my mind with her strength- so my prayers always sounded something like- "Lord please keep supernaturally reminding Julie that you will take her through this, that with Your help she can do it, keep this baby safe, and please help her come quickly." Over and over and over. But even through all of this- there was never even a PEEP from Julie. She didn't scream, moan, or make those weird animal noises you see in the movies. She would just breathe deeply, sigh every now and then- but even in the midst of the worst and the hardest- everything remained very calm and serene. Very Julie-like. For those of you who know her- you know exactly what I mean.
The only point that I got a little concerned was right at the end. Things were definitely progressing quickly and Michelle was keeping a close watch on the baby's heart rate. With every contraction she was going to the floor with us and listening closely. At one point she asked Julie to get up on the bed and change positions to take pressure off the baby. Her and Debbie kept whispering quietly and I knew something was off. They started acting quickly and asking Julie if she was feeling like she wanted to try and push. Julie was ready to go and just wanted something different. Come to find out the baby's heart rate had been dropping because the cord was wrapped around her little neck. So they flipped her over and she started to push. I had been up on the bed with her and letting her lean back and rest on me- but when she started pushing- I jumped up and got the camera and moved Tommy up by Julie to be the official hand squeezer. (Thank goodness Tommy took that job- I saw how hard she squeezed!)
Michelle and Debbie got into position, switched on the lights, and you could tell they were getting ready to go. I positioned myself to be able to get lots of different angles of pictures and took some deep breaths myself because I knew this was about to really happen. As soon as Julie started to push, I could clearly see that little Charlotte's head was right there. It would not be long now. The coolest part about it was that the midwives starting coaching Julie in the coolest way. It seriously sounded like we were at a sporting event and these two women were the most inspirational leaders I had ever heard. Their voices got strong with encouragement like, "Come on Julie! Be brave Julie! You can do this! You were born to do this! You're courageous! You're strong! Your baby is almost here Julie! Keep going!" It was incredible!! I started not being able to see through the lens because I knew the tears were forming. I've never seen so much strength displayed in such a short amount of time.
Well, yall, after about 14 hours of labor, and about 3 minutes of pushing- at 4:24pm, I clicked away at that camera with tears rolling down my face as the beautiful Charlotte Piper officially entered this world. It was the most exhilarating, exhausting, precious, heart wrenching, proud moment of my life. What a miracle! What a beautiful moment and testament to God's power and His faithfulness. It was incredible.
I had kept it together all day- not letting any emotion show- but let me tell you.... Once I put the camera down and allowed myself to walk over and see Julie and the baby up close- I. LOST. IT. I couldn't pull myself together. I'm sure the exhaustion had something to do with it- but all I felt was this OVERWHELMING sense of pride for my friend. I couldn't really articulate what I was feeling- but I just remember saying "I'm just so proud of you!" over and over again in between sobs. It was such an inspiration to me to be in the space of this powerful woman that had made a decision to have this kind of birth experience- and she did it. How empowering!
After I had pulled myself together and the midwives were like little busy bees getting Julie finished up, delivering the after birth, getting some excessive bleeding under control, etc-- Michelle told me to go make Julie something to eat with as much sugar and protein that I could find. Y'all..... for those of you that know me....I don't just "whip up" something to eat. I do NOT cook. So Julie and I had a laugh about this later-- but I be-bopped back in that room with two toasted waffles covered in peanut butter, nutella, and honey. At this point-- I'm sleep deprived, elated, emotional, nerves on edge, and surprised that what I brought her was even edible. :) It worked and surprisingly Julie ate it! :)
After lots of skin-to-skin time and getting Julie pretty cleaned up- Michelle ran an herbal bath for Julie and the baby. We got everybody cleaned up and fresh- and I even got to take Charlotte from Michelle after the bath and be the third person ever to hold her after mama and daddy. Pretty cool! Don't worry- we had WhitWhit and Charlotte selfie time! :)
Tommy's family headed over with Malia which was precious watching her meet her baby sister for the first time- and then the whole family got to watch the newborn exam and see her be weighed and measured. Tommy's mom and sister then went ahead and cooked supper for everybody while I helped Julie with a little mommy makeup application and took some pictures with the new little family of four. After pictures, Julie ate, breastfed, and then settled into her own bed to sleep with sweet baby Charlotte beside her. It was the most calm and serene scene I think I've ever seen.
I loaded my stuff up- gave all my final hugs and kisses- and made my way home. I cried the whole way of course. And then had the realization that I had not eaten, drank, or used the restroom in about 12 hours! HA! I was a little hungry. And really thirsty. I had Duane pick me up the biggest burger he could find (I'm an emotional eater obviously) and I ate, showered, and then passed out at about 7:30 that night. What a day!
I will tell you that I was forever changed that day. I know that may sound a little extreme to some folks- but not to me. Not only did it open my eyes to a whole new birthing experience available, but it showed me the kind of inner strength that God has naturally gifted us with as women. If He has designed our bodies and our minds to experience and endure something like this- what ELSE are we capable of? The possibilities are endless!
You know, many people have asked me if it was a good idea for ME to be a part of something like this. Considering the fertility issues of course. Would it make me sad? Would it be too hard on me emotionally? And here's my answer to that very considerate question. Absolutely not. I am SO grateful for the experience and the honor that Julie allowed me to be a part of such an intimate, once in a lifetime day. It did my heart SO much good to be able to celebrate such a miracle. It also opened my eyes to the options I have when God chooses to bless us with a child. And Duane and I are actually very open and interested in having the same experience in our home. So- no- it did the opposite of make me sad- it reminded me of God's goodness, the strength He has placed in me already, and above all His faithfulness. It gave me HOPE.
So to Julie- rock on my dear sister. You are strong. You are capable. You are such an inspiration to me. To Tommy- thank you for letting me be a part of this incredible experience. You are an incredible father. My sweet Malia- you bring me so much joy! WhitWhit loves those kisses and goofy faces you make. You will always be my favorite big girl! And to my angel Charlotte- we are bonded forever little one. I will never forget the day that the world was forever changed when you came into it.
I love yall.
<3 WhitWhit
