Sweet Child Of Mine..

So. The other night I was sitting downstairs pretty late. I was all by myself watching television. Duane had gone to sleep and I was just restless. I came across an episode of Teen Mom. Now, before you judge me- I don't actually keep up with the show. But, D and I watch it from time to time because one of the girls is from Chattanooga and Duane was actually pretty good friends with her "baby daddy" back in the day. So it's actually pretty funny to us. "Funny" may not actually be the word I'm looking for. To be honest- the show makes me pretty sad. Mostly just sad for the children who are born into situations they can't change. But I will say that I appreciate the fact that they show lots of different options like adoption. They also don't seem to sugarcoat the consequences of making adult decisions (premarital sex) when you're NOT an adult and not married. 

Anywho- I did not post to give my opinions on Teen Mom. The point of ALL that is to say that sitting in my living room, downstairs, late, by myself, alone in my thoughts- I had a moment. Now, these moments don't come often. They are actually very FEW and far between. But when they come- they seem to hit me right in the face with a 2x4. (Ouch) Usually these are moments of just unexpected, complete and total sadness. Circumstances become real and the pain comes out. So, let's be real...it's basically one big, fat, snotty, sob fest.

Now, before this post takes a downhill turn into the...."please feel sorry for me" category-- I want to reinforce the fact that this doesn't happen very often. I'm really "okay" about this whole situation- and, like my sister taught me, most often times I feel honored that Lord has called me to a special relationship with Him and to walk a different journey than others. I don't say that to sound prideful or "holier than thou" at all. Just like you have a very specific journey to walk in Christ- this is mine. Deep down on the inside I KNOW that God is in control, I trust Him at His Word, and I know His timing is perfect. Having said that- I'M not perfect. And it is usually the most random things that will trigger these moments.

Case in point: Teen Mom.

As I sat there, at 2 AM, and watched those precious babies and their mommies..
I sobbed. I cried. I sobbed. I cried.
And then I began to pray. I prayed for peace. I prayed for forgiveness. I prayed for faith. And then for the first time that I can remember...I prayed for my unborn child.

As I prayed and thought about my future baby- I started to think about the importance of being a parent. And even though I'm waiting for that precious day- my responsibility NOW is to do my best to prepare myself for that most important role. So to remind myself- I wrote it down. (Shocker- I know) And I'd like for you to share in this with me.

To my baby:

I haven't met you yet. But I cannot describe to you my love for you. Your daddy and I have prayed and prayed. Here is our prayer:

I pray that you will love the Lord with all your heart, mind, body and soul. I pray that you will view the world- every circumstance, dream, relationship, challenge, obstacle, opportunity, talent, etc- through the eyes of Christ. I pray that you will seek to honor Him in everything that you do. I pray that you know purpose because you have been specifically knit together- hand crafted with love- by the Almighty Himself. I pray that you will use every talent, ability, opportunity, vision, and dream- not to serve yourself- but to know your ultimate purpose of leading others to Christ and loving your brother as yourself. I pray that you will be full of gratitude- extending grace and mercy to those around you- because of the thankfulness that you know from receiving the ultimate pardon. I pray that you will be kind. I pray that you'll be courageous in everything your hand finds to do. I pray that you will chase your dreams with boldness and know that you are called to something great. I pray that you will always feel love. I pray that you will give love freely. I pray for your purity and your willingness to be different- even if the whole world tells you you're 'old-fashioned,' a goody two shoes, or too conservative. I pray that you will stand for the truth at all costs- even when no one chooses to stand with you. I pray for your future mate. I pray that as God is preparing you- He is also preparing him/her for a great ministry where you will serve Him together. I pray for you to be tender hearted. I pray for compassion and that you will always 'give until it hurts' to those who are less fortunate than you. I pray that you will never let anyone make you feel less. I pray that you have confidence in yourself- not because of anything you've done or accomplished- but because you see yourself as Christ sees you and because you know His purpose in you. I pray that you will not strive for an unattainable perfection- but that you will see yourself through the blood of Christ and know that His love covers all your mistakes, mess-ups, and weaknesses. I pray that you will never back down from trials. I pray that you will persevere and never ever give up. I pray that you be the hands and feet of Christ. I pray that you will always know joy. I pray that you laugh- often. I pray that you would follow my excellent example of loving the Mississippi State Bulldogs. :) I pray that you love family. I pray for strength. I pray that you never forget how much you're loved.

You are our precious gift. You were given to us 'for such a time as this.' Gods timing is always perfect- and He is specifically preparing you for huge divine appointments.
Because those preparations are not done- we will wait. And while we wait, I promise...

I promise to love the Lord and seek His will for my life, our lives, and yours. I promise to love your Daddy with all my heart. I promise to honor and respect him- so that you will have a Godly, strong, confident, hard-working father who is treated as the man and leader of our home that he is called to be. I promise to prepare our home for you, cultivate our family, so that you will be raised in a home that loves Jesus first, and each other second. I promise to love others so that I can pass that on to you. I promise to be bold and courageous and follow my dreams so that you can know that you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. I promise to be wise financially so you can be taught to be a good steward when the Lord chooses to bless you. I promise to better myself and work hard so that you know health, confidence, and work ethic. I promise to always love you. I promise to love you with an unconditional love- as close as humanly possible to the love that our Father has shown to us. I promise to look to the Lord in difficulties. I promise to learn Gods Word and hide it in my heart so I can effectively teach it to you. I promise to laugh. I promise to rejoice- even in times I don't understand. I promise to speak positively- affirming all those around me, including myself, so that you learn that what you speak about, you bring about.

I promise to keep praying. I promise to remain faithful. I promise to love you more everyday- no matter how long it takes for me to meet you. I promise. And I pray.

You are our gift. You have purpose. To God be the glory.

Love,
Your mama.

Do you have a specific prayer you pray over your children? I'd love for you to share it with me. Maybe I can even post a few on this blog so that I can remember them and others will be blessed too. 

Love yall!

Whit <3

What a MIGHTY God we SERVE!

Hey everybody! Hope you're having a fabulous end to summer and a BEAUTIFUL start to FALL! MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR!!

It's been a long time since I've updated! Every time I sit down to write I just feel very redundant. It's more of the same ole same ole. Take Metformin every night, take Provera to start my cycle, take Clomid on days 3-7 on my cycle, see if I ovulate, pregnancy text on Day 28- negative....start all over.
I will say, that its been very obvious to me this past month that the medicine is helping to keep my body on a cycle and helping me to feel better. Because-- this last round I messed my medicine up and ending up not taking Clomid at all. HOLY HEADACHES. I have been so struggling with headaches, and tummy issues, and blah blah because I threw my body out of that cycle that it's been getting used to. So pregnant or not pregnant...I'm thankful for the medicines to help keep me regulated. Everything else is up to the Lord...
I'm about to start a fresh cycle tomorrow..SO HOPEFULLY I'll be getting back to normal pretty soon.

NOW....let's write what I came to write. :)

As you well know- my sister is such a mentor to me when it comes to the infertility and female issues. She's been struggling with these things now for well over 6 years. Some would say....she's a pro.

Ok..I would say that...she's definitely a pro.

I have been so thankful for her and how she's been able to guide me through this process step by step. It's someone I can talk to about how I feel, what I'm dealing with, and what to do next. She's also been known to shell out some tough love from time to time...which I'll actually admit...I know I needed it:)
After 3 long years, many medicines, procedures, heartache, disappointment, money, and hard work...her little family is so pleased to announce that they are growing by "two feet.."

 

Lord willing...Baby Collins will arrive in April 2013!

All I can say is....What a MIGHTY God we serve! Our family is absolutely thrilled. He listens to us, He answers us, and He always ALWAYS provides.  

Amber-- I'm so thankful for your example in faith, patience, trust, Bible-study, seeking the Lord, and JOY regardless of circumstance. No one deserves this blessing more than you. Thank you for being there for me! I can't wait to pinch that little baby's sweet cheeks! You know I'm the coolest aunt ever. 

Matt-- Thank you for being there for my sister. Thank you for supporting her- even if you don't understand what it feels like. Thank you for being a great example of a Godly husband and father. You're an awesome Daddy. Way to go PooPoo! :)

Wil Franklin-- WhitWhit loves you more than life itself. You are our precious gift. You have PURPOSE. 

(Even if that means playing baseball at Ole Miss....it will seriously hurt my heart....but I'm always your biggest fan!) You were prayed and prayed for before you were even knit in your mama's womb. Never forget how much you're loved by your Heavenly Father and your family. Thank you for the joy that you ALWAYS bring to us! You'll always be my Superman and I'll always be your "Yois Yane!"

Little Peanut- Oh how you were prayed for! And OH how you are loved! Your WhitWhit is dying to meet you. Always remember-- it is often said that "Aunts are like Mom...only COOLER!" :) We are anxiously preparing and waiting for your arrival. You are our precious gift. You have purpose. To God Be The Glory!

Thank yall for sharing in this excitement with us! Your prayers for a smooth pregnancy, delivery, and healthy baby are ALWAYS appreciated. This has not been easy for Amber- but a million times worth it. Thanks again! 

IT'S BABY TIME! :)

Whit<3