Oh, Baby! Here it goes...

Anyone ever hear the Matt Redman song, "Never Once?" Well- if you haven't- minimize this screen, open iTunes and download it NOW and put it on repeat.....You'll thank me later. And everyday after that. It's that amazing! I'll give you a little snippet....check out these powerful lyrics:

Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Carried by Your constant grace
Held within Your perfect peace
Never once, no, we never walk alone

Um, HELLO. What words of celebration of God's power and perfect peace! Peace that He says "transcends all understanding..." (Phil. 4:7).

This particular song has been such an encouragement to me in the past several months. No matter the struggles-- as believers, we are NEVER ALONE! Even in times where we need to be carried... held.
He will.

Having said that, I have been burdened to share one of my most intimate struggles. A struggle that is just beginning- with no clear timeline, end result, or surety of success. I'm not sure where to start. I've been laying awake at night at the thought of sharing this publicly. Be vulnerable? Open myself up to criticism? Have people 'feel sorry for me'? All of these fears have been brewing at the thought of opening up about this process. I heard a very wise woman say one time, "The tragedy is NOT having struggles or learning life's lessons-- the real tragedy is persevering through that struggle, and not reaching back to encourage someone else learning the same lesson." I honestly believe God brings us through trials, most importantly, to back us into a corner with no other options but to trust Him. Without trials, it is impossible to strip away selfishness and belief in oneself and surrender your whole being, desires, abilities, and plans to the Ultimate One. But also- how can you share in another person's pain with genuine sincerity- if you yourself have never felt the same sorrow? "Encourage one another and build each other up.." (1Thess. 5:11)

Well, here it goes.

We're going on 3 years of marriage. I am more blessed as a wife than I could ever imagine. My husband is a stud. He's hott, he loves the Lord, he loves me, he's not too macho to hold my purse in public....yeah I'm a lucky girl. Very soon after we were married (a LOT sooner than I expected) the famous question was CONTINUALLY asked. "When will yall have a baby?" "Do you want kids?"....etc....all. the. time. At first, it was funny. We would laugh and say-- "No no no...hold up! Not yet! Too soon!" But as time wore on, that question got harder and harder to stomach. Because underneath the jokes- I knew about my struggle. I have PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome). It is not life threatening or fatal. It's genetic. I've seen my mom and my sister struggle with the same issues (you can check out my sister's 5 year journey on her blog: www.havingandembracinghope.blogspot.com). But symptoms include weight gain (check), hormonal imbalance (check), irregular menstrual cycles (check), acne (check), etc....but most frustrating.....infertility.

So I'll just say it. To answer the question often asked..."When will you guys start trying for kids?"

We are trying.
We have BEEN trying.
For over two years.
I'm struggling to have a baby.
We'll be seeking medical help, along with faith, to have a baby.

SO-  Duane and I have made our decision. We will openly share our plan of hope. We will be open about the (embarrassing, stressful, frustrating, emotional, scary, faith-building) process.
For two reasons.
1. It is healing for me to write. By expressing what I'm feeling and not isolating myself alone with my thoughts- I can process. I feel refreshed and renewed.
2. To encourage someone else on the same road. To make it "OK" to discuss something that is often privately suffered.

That's it. That's why I feel called to document this process.

But here's the deal, pickle. (here's the dill, pickle...get it?...anywho) This is not meant to be sad, or depressing, or to make you feel sorry for me, or to make me look or sound like victim. This is meant to be a celebration of HOPE! A celebration of the promises of my precious Savior.....promises for prosperity and a future! (Jer. 29:11) My God is specifically named Jehovah Jirah which means He is my God who PROVIDES! He has a plan for little ole me and Duane. And I believe with my WHOLE heart that a precious son or daughter (hmmm....maybe tall, dark haired, hazel eyed...just a suggestion!) is included in that plan. He has given me an incredible desire to be a mother- but with that same desire He has given me such a sense of contentment in His timing. I may not feel that everyday because I'm human and I can get frustrated and overwhelmed with the best of 'em. But TODAY- I am content. Right now, I look forward with such joy to the day that I can look my precious child in the eyes and wholeheartedly say, "You are our gift. You have purpose. To God be the glory."

In closing, there's a couple of things I need from you...
1. Support in prayer. We'll take all we can get.
2. If you are a family member or friend and you have children or are expecting a child, NEVER feel like it makes me sad or can't be discussed around me. I am so incredibly thrilled for anyone to experience the blessing of life!! PLEASE let me get ahold of your baby's sweet cheeks and love on them! That is one of my GREATEST joys.
3. If you or someone you know are struggling with infertility- please message me on FB or shoot me an email (whitneyblomberg@gmail.com) so I can add you to a prayer list. I'm a part of a community of sweet ladies who are specifically praying for those dealing with infertility. You can be added anonymously if you're not comfortable sharing your story publicly, but please know you are not alone. You are loved, you are not a failure- and there are people who are waiting to lift you up in prayer.

I plan on updating this blog whenever there are updates in this process. I have had a couple of "procedures" and have started my first round of fertility medicine. So I will be posting a little bit more detailed entry of those things here in the next couple of days.

Thank you again for sharing with Duane and I in this process. I could have a positive pregnancy test on this first round....it could be years....we don't know. But regardless- I hope that you leave this blog with a sense of hope, peace, positive expectancy, and love for those around you because you never know what struggles could be lurking underneath a smile. But as the song says.....

Scars and struggles on the way....but with joy my heart can say...
Never once did we ever walk alone..
No!
We never walk alone...


-Whitney <3